I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams. ~W. B. Yeats
When I was a little girl, I would express my displeasure by STOMPING down the hallway of our house, on my way to my room, where I would then dramatically, SLAM the door!
My Dad, a man of few words, and a loving, but stern master of the tribe (7 kids!), would walk to my room (I could hear his steps coming, as he was a 6’4 giant), and say, “Open it, and try it again”.
Terrified to open the door, my little hand would wiggle the knob until the lock popped and the door opened a sliver, then run and crouch in the corner.
From outside the door, Dad would instruct, “Now, close it softly” (which I would immediately do), followed by, “And stay in there for a while!”
Thanks, Dad, for my first lesson in treading softly and reframing.
Fast forward to this point in my life, my timeouts now are on purpose, and for the purpose, of gaining calm, savoring quiet and cultivating perspective.
Very generally speaking, this world is made up of stompers and ballerinas, and everything in between.
Stompers are angry, disrespectful, resentful and often, victims of life. They insist that you listen to their grievances, agree with them, and model your life after theirs.
Ballerinas are thoughtful, compassionate, nurturing, and mostly, loving observers of life. They are inclusive and respectful of diversity in all its forms.
WAIT…I hope you won’t misinterpret my blanket descriptions here.
I’m not referring to strength vs weakness, passion vs passivity, action vs atrophy.
Rather, I’m pointing to the style with which you tread through your personal and public life.
Personally, for years, I treaded heavily on my SELF — my sharp self-judgment, unrelenting shame, and overall lack of self-love and care were literally, critical indicators of wounds that needed tending.
Publicly, no one knew all that turmoil was bubbling just beneath the surface. I was fun, a bit mischievous, but mostly, loving and kind.
So, I guess I was both a stomper and a ballerina, and I think we all are, or have been, a bit of each.
At the risk of going down the political path too far, I at least wish to acknowledge that I’m feeling flattened, of late, by the stomping of my rights as a woman, a voter, and a believer that freedom applies to all of us, not just some of us.
Mindfulness, aka kindness and heartfulness, is not just a meditative method for reducing one’s stress (although it certainly can).
It’s a way of being in the world that promotes and cultivates compassion, love, acceptance and understanding.
I invite you to gently observe your words and actions (both inner and outer) for this day or longer, and encourage yourself to tread softly in your life.
These are tender times we’re living.
As Yeats expressed, my dreams may be under your feet…please don’t stomp on my dreams, and I won’t stomp on yours.
In closing, I share this poem by Collette Reilly.
I am a stomper, so thank you for this post. I needed to read this today.
Love you, Cass. Isn’t it amazing what age brings?